Lessons I am Learning

Right now I feel like God is calling me to learn so much in my spiritual life. However, I am not totally sure how to process it or put it all into words. I just feel thirsty for Him and like I want to take so much in. He has put a lot into my head through various sources. But how does it all work together and is it all related? What does He want me to learn and apply?

It all began when I was in the hospital He lead me to start reading Psalm 119. What a long chapter of total love and surrender to God's law. It is a chapter of worship and acknowledging that God and His way is sovereign. I finished reading the chapter this morning and feel like I need to start over again. I desire for it to penetrate my heart so that I can become like the author who loves God's way above all else. I live in a world of distraction. Worldly possessions, hobbies, tasks, and family distract me from my walk with Jesus. I want these verses to take over that my worship and love for God would be before these things. "Lord, please continue to soften me and take over my life. Be before all things and in all things. Lead me in prayer and worship throughout the day and not just at the beginning and end."

Next, I just finished the book "Joni" written by Joni Earickson. (Not completely sure of that spelling.) I started reading the book at the end of my pregnancy because I didn't know what to do with myself and this was one way to pass the time. I had decided to give the book away once I was done. However, now that I have finished reading it I want to keep it! It became like a devotional book to me. She was so open about her acceptance of her handicap and her spiritual journey on the way. The way she wrote the book it was easy to apply her lessons to my life. She pointed out that we all have "handicaps" and need to decide how we will deal with them. She chose to allow God to work in her circumstance. She even came to the point that being in a wheelchair for the rest of her life was "something better" that God had for her than being able to walk. She pointed out that God does not intervene in many people's lives in that way. He allowed an accident like hers that left her paralized so that she would have to seek Him in a deeper way and surrender completely to His plan for her. Most people are just allowed to keep on through their lives. Grow up, get married, kids, going through day to day life and often forgetting about God even if they are believers. I wish I had underlined things as I read the book. I feel like I need to reread the book now to learn the most from it. The lessons she shared as she grew spiritually and to accept her circumstance were deep and challenging. It makes me want to think on it more and figure out what my circumstance is in life and what my "handicaps" are. Then see how God wants me to be dependent on Him and grow in my spiritual life.

The third thing that has struck me is our sermon at church yesterday. I had not been in church for a month due to pregnancy and having a new born. I was so excited to be in church again and to be able to sing again! We had guest "preachers" from the Bunker (a drop in youth center) from Winkler. I was really reminded to discern what my daily ministry is. This was such a good reminder because I have felt lead to step back from being involved in official ministries this year. I felt like God wanted me to just be with my family and discover what my personal ministry is to those around me. I have plenty of opportunity for that by living at camp. However, it is so easy to just become focused on my life at home. Getting through the day with 3 kids and keeping up with the house work. It was good to be challenged again to keep my focus outside of me and my life. What is God wanting me to do to encourage and challenge others? (Interesting to note that sometimes when we don't want to be involved in something, God still places that in our laps! This summer I did not want to be involved with people in the summer program. However, there is someone who has attached herself to me and I know there is opportunity to minister to her. I don't have any idea how, nor is my heart in it yet. Please pray for me to be obedient. Sometimes ministry does involve challenges and sacrifice! :) ) So, I do look forward to this year discovering what God wants me to do. Maybe I will need accountability to keep up with this commitment! Feel free to ask me how my personal ministry is going! It will take effort to continually seek Him to see what He wants me to do. But, I think it will be be exciting to walk closer with God through it!